Mommy Vending Machine
Is this not enough for you?
Well, thanks for your disproportionately defensive overreaction to my message, beta! No need to get emotional. You almost got me in trouble.
And I don’t like your accusatory tone. No matter who’s right or wrong, that is not the way you handle things! Calm down, be happy, I choose to do this for you!
Unkind? He never wanted this. You have to be the bigger person. It is unfair for everyone, including him. Or most of all to him. You want me to come home. How should I, when he hasn’t seen his family in thirty years? I can’t just get up and leave. This is not how the world works. All of us chose this life.
How are you, really? Hope school is going well. Where is daddy? Wasn’t he working from home? Has he moved on to another company? I am not worried, neither should you be. If he has left, it is reasonable. Unlike you, I trust him.
Don’t be a crybaby. I am not bonded. Don’t make things up. So, you haven’t seen me in five years! You are not special. Everyone lives like this.
And no, you can’t call him by his first name. He is the great founder. He is not the person you list your grievances to. And what problems do you have anyway? Do you not like your free room, free food, free clothes? You ever think about me? How did you become so selfish?
For your record, I am happy here. I appreciate your concern, but that’s not the place you show your wokeism. I live with him! He has every right to yell at you. At least now he won’t be threatening, suing, or blacklisting you. You should be thanking me. I saved your future. What do you want to do anyway, since you don’t want to be a lawyer, engineer, or doctor? No one will ever hire you if you go on like this. I am disappointed. I must have sinned terribly in a past life.
You want to know why I never come home? Is this just how things are in an ad agency? The client is never satisfied? Please, grow up! And stop jerking off to conspiracy porn. Time off is for children. I never log out because I am all about quality, dedication, loyalty. All things that make a great foundation. In sickness and in hell.
I never come home because I have one, right here, in the hall, inside the vending machine with all my food supplies sorted out. Right next to the convenience room. I have everything I need right here. Blankets, ACs, spare clothes, spare bodies, mentors, everything! Guess where the money saved on commute goes?
On YOU! It is all for you. Please be grateful. What you call ‘inhumane treatment’ is paying your school fees! I love you and I miss you but please learn to differentiate between family and work family. I will see you when I retire. I can’t leave my mission of delivering 500 catchy reel scripts per second incomplete. The world depends on it.
If you can’t respect your own mother, fine. Just learn to respect the work timings and company policies. With that, I exhort you to stop here. Do not continue with any sassy counter reply. May this message find you blessed with the faculty of discernment-enabling you to distil truth from the clamour of tales shaped by pre-conceived notions and imputations based on fictionalised or distorted narratives of events.
With Love,
Mommy,
Sent from My Vending Machine




"In sickness and in hell"! What an awesome line in this too-real-to-be-dystopian narrative.